Fake it ‘Till You Make it

I am a bit embarrassed to admit that during my monastic life one of my personal mottos has been fake it ‘till you make it. 

When I first entered the monastery I was overwhelmed and put off balance.  I was intimidated by what was called for in the Benedictine Life.  Although confident in my vocation and my call to St. Scholastica Monastery, I was unsure that I could become all that was being asked of me.  I did not have any understanding of monastic life or the Rule of Benedict.  I did not have the vocabulary of Benedictine and I uncomfortable with calling myself a Benedictine Monastic.  But here I was. I figured the best I could do was trust in God and follow the adage fake it ‘till you make it.

In no way was I doing things to be fake or false.  I meant no disrespect or deception with my motto.  I really believed that it was the best way for me to become who and how God was calling me to be:  I just had to do it.  I figured the only way I could learn to live the monastic life was to live it.  In other words I had to fake it ‘till I made it. 

Joan Chittister in her book The Rule of Benedict:  Insights for the Ages describes this same principle when she says that “the secret of the spiritual life is to live it until it becomes real.”

I am still growing into my monastic vocation and I trust I will continue to do so until the day I die.  Isn’t that how it is for us all?  Day by day, moment by moment, we strive to follow Jesus and respond to God’s call the best we can.  With the support of those around us and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we are all becoming who and how God dreams us to be.  And that isn’t fake!